The Grass is Greener

The Grass is Greener

Lately I've seen a lot of posts regarding topics such as, "Sorry married people, but being single is actually better" or "Sorry single people, being married is actually better". Each time I see a post like this I think to myself, 'I didn't know it was a competition!?' Then I read the comments under these posts and it's literally just one giant argument. There are so many people out there trying to defend their case and prove that they are, in fact, the happier person. 
But the truth is, you can actually be happy in either situation, 

and that's okay!

 

"THE GRASS IS GREENER

WHERE YOU WATER IT."

-Neil Barringham 

I think the real issue here is insecurity. We play these "I'm better than you" games to overcompensate for what we are really feeling on the inside. Maybe the real deal is the fact that each side sees something in the other that they want. 

The single person looks at a married couple and wishes for that intimacy. They may long for a companion, but they don't want to seem desperate and lonely so they try to act strong.  The married person may look at the single person and miss the times that they were able to be selfish and completely independent. In response to those feelings, they try to remind themselves of all the good things that they have now that they are committed to someone. This helps them justify the fact that they gave up a little bit of their independence for a selfless commitment. 

Overall, both the single person and the married person may not be completely unhappy with their lives; But a person who is truly content with their spot in life is not going want to play the comparison game.

A person who is truly content with their spot in life is not going want to play the comparison game.

It may not even be a matter of jealousy or insecurity. Another reason as to why people may act this way is the fact that they aren't trying to see the other side. That's so great that you think your life is the bomb-diggity! Just keep in mind that not everyone has the same preferences. Maybe the single person really does enjoy being free, spontaneous, and self reliant. And just maybe they can't imagine ever being "tied down" to a committed relationship... It's just not for them.  Maybe the married person really does love waking up next to the love of their life everyday. And maybe they couldn't ever handle the thought of being alone. That lifestyle just isn't their fit. Just because you don't prefer to live your life in the same ways doesn't give you the right to act like you are better than the other person for it. Why can't we all just get along and be happy for each other?

You can find contentment through any walk of life. It's all a matter of perspective. The moment that you stop focusing on your blessings and start thinking about what others have is when you become unhappy. It's okay to be a completely happy single person, and it is also okay to be completely content in a marriage. 

All in all, we need to enjoy the little things in our lives and count our blessings.  

Stop trying to prove yourself to everyone. When it all comes down to it, the only person who can give you a true sense of validity is yourself, but only if you 

have the right mindset.  

When you stop getting wrapped up in how other people are living their lives and start doing what makes you happy instead, that is when you can truly enjoy life.